In the Eye of the Beholder
Well I submit that true love beholds true beauty. And I have never been more in love—nor have I beheld anything more beautiful—than the blessings in my life today.
The concept really hit me the other day when I was hanging out and playing with the kids. I’m not sure what we were playing, or what Marie was chattering about incessantly at that moment; all I knew was that all of a sudden, just like in the movies, the background noises faded, time seemed to stand still, and all I could think while staring at my little girl’s moving lips and little face was, WOW. She is SO pretty. I swear she gets more beautiful every day!
She quickly shook me from my reverie as she walked toward me, took my face in her hands and demanded, “Mommy! MOMMY! I’m talking to you! Did you hear me?” All I could say was “Umm…no, Sweetie. Sorry. But do you know that you’re beautiful?”
And in that moment I had a little epiphany.
She does become more beautiful to me every day. She has every day since the day she was born. And although I was biased enough to believe that I had the most beautiful child of all time the second I laid eyes on her, the fact remains that to the world at large, my beloved daughter appeared to be just a red, wrinkly, not-so-attractive newborn (as all newborns are).
But my heart didn’t care. I was so in love with her that it made all of her—conehead, bruises and all—perfect to me.
Sometimes those little imperfections catch me off-guard when I look back at pictures: baby acne, crusty eyes and cradle cap, goofy teeth, and Marie’s awkward reverse mullet phase of long-in-the-front, short-in-the-back hair. I can vividly remember specific moments during each of those stages when I literally marveled at how beautiful each of my children were…but then I surprise myself when I look at them today and they’re a million times more beautiful in front of me now than they were then.
Hence my revelation: the more I love them, the more beautiful they become to me.
Because love does that.
I mulled over this for a bit, realizing that it was even truer with the other love of my life—my husband. I’ve said before that it was not love at first sight for us, and I wasn’t kidding. Pretty much the opposite. I had no problem ignoring him almost completely after my first encounter with his impeccably shaved head and smug attitude. It didn’t matter that he was part of my basic training squad—our little “team”—which consisted of us and eight other guys (with equally attractive haircuts). And he wasn’t too keen on getting to know me and my prissy ways, either. There was no attraction there. Zero.
But when I had to swallow my pride and get some help with school work (mathematics dud + engineering school = should’ve gone to a liberal arts college) and he offered to help, I saw some pretty amazing qualities in my then sort-of friend. Patience, compassion, loyalty…he didn’t even make fun of me when I had trouble navigating the stupid online homework site (Blackboard or something like that? I think I’ve banished it from my memory). As I fell in love with his inner qualities, the rest of him became more and more attractive, inside and out. When I walked down the aisle on our wedding day, I couldn’t imagine a more dashing sight. Now, a few years and a few kids later, I’m still a total goner I stare into those beautiful green-blue eyes of his. Overwrought cliché or not, I indeed fall more in love with him every day.
The crazy thing is, with all this mulling over beauty and love and gushy stuff, it took me awhile to reach an even more profound realization: if those I love grow more beautiful to me each day, doesn't the same apply when it comes to God? And those dear to Him?
And if I am struck by such beauty—when my love is so limited and riddled with conditions—how much more beautiful do we to appear to our God who made us and loves us with no conditions?
He doesn’t care if we look good or not today, if we have it all together or happen to be a complete mess, if we’re getting older and grayer or if we’re not measuring up to someone else’s standards. He just cares that we’re his kids, and that He loves us, and that we’re more beautiful to Him today than we were yesterday.
Every day.
So on this Valentine's Day as the world persuades us to bolster the economy with overpriced chocolate and roses and sappy cards, may you and those dear to you remember that you are truly beautiful...and perfectly loved.
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