Positively (Im)perfect

Have you ever wondered what you can possibly say or do for a friend whose spouse has been injured or killed in combat? Or as a result of some other devastating tragedy? I know how often I have been at a loss for what to say or do, and how worried I've been that I might say the wrong thing. Two amazing women who have survived the worst were generous enough to contribute some valuable insights, weighing in on the dos and don'ts of helping someone whose world has been shattered. Read their tips in my final post of the "How to Help a Hurting Friend" series over at Ms.MommyHH6 , an incredible site for military moms. I learned a ton, and I hope the amazing things these brave women chose to share can help another survivor out there, too. You can also catch the first two installments: Part I - "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Child Loss" Part II -  "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Surviving Deployment"

I'm currently writing a three-part guest post series for Raven over at Ms.MommyHH6 --a great place for military moms (and any mom, really) to share about real life, get some awesome advice for running a home, and just support each other in our needs. This week's installment of "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Surviving a Deployment" features ways to help a military mom when her spouse is deployed, as well as tips to get through it yourself if you're the one left alone. So check it out, and don't forget to leave Raven some love while you're there!

I'm not a big-time runner, so I don't really know what it's like to train for a marathon. But I do know that it takes a lot of guts to even sign up. And after that it takes a ton of hard work, sweat, and sheer determination to make it through the countless hours and miles required to be race-day ready. So I was beyond impressed when my friend Kristin , who started running this past February, quickly set a goal of running the Chicago Marathon on October 7th, 2012--less than a year after becoming a "real" runner. Even though I don't know what it's like to pour my life into training for a marathon, I can imagine how absolutely devastating it is to have that dream abruptly yanked out from under your feet. Which is exactly what happened to Kristin. Precisely 453.5 miles into her training and two months out from race day, she learned that what she thought was a pulled muscle was really a stress fracture that would probably cause her hip to break if she kept

It doesn't often come up in conversation. It's not something we advertise. But there are lots of other women out there who--like me--have experienced some degree of child loss. In 2010 I lost one child to miscarriage and one to ectopic pregnancy. Since then, I've run in to more women than I can count who never met their child due to miscarriage. And far too many, like my amazing friend Caroline , know the unbelievable grief of saying goodbye to a son or daughter who they can see, touch, or hold. Caroline's son, Cale, died from an umbilical cord accident a few hours before he was born. Looking at the statistics, it's absolutely staggering to realize how very common child loss is, and to realize how many women we might walk by each day who are missing a part of themselves. Last year I learned through Caroline that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month . There are a lot of causes with louder voices out there calling for support, but this is one caus