26.2 Random Acts of Kindness

I'm not a big-time runner, so I don't really know what it's like to train for a marathon. But I do know that it takes a lot of guts to even sign up. And after that it takes a ton of hard work, sweat, and sheer determination to make it through the countless hours and miles required to be race-day ready. So I was beyond impressed when my friend Kristin, who started running this past February, quickly set a goal of running the Chicago Marathon on October 7th, 2012--less than a year after becoming a "real" runner.

Even though I don't know what it's like to pour my life into training for a marathon, I can imagine how absolutely devastating it is to have that dream abruptly yanked out from under your feet. Which is exactly what happened to Kristin. Precisely 453.5 miles into her training and two months out from race day, she learned that what she thought was a pulled muscle was really a stress fracture that would probably cause her hip to break if she kept running. At all. Forget the marathon.

To say that sitting at home on race day was torture for her is an understatement. Our mutual friend, Michelle, and I wanted to come up with a diversion so she wouldn't have to struggle through the day alone. Awhile ago on Pinterest I saw that a woman had done 38 random acts of kindness for her 38th birthday. And last month at dinner, Kristin's husband had shared that he fell in love with her because she always gave her to-go box of food to the homeless after they went out to eat. From that, an idea started to formulate. Kristin couldn't run the Chicago Marathon, but what if she could do a "Marathon of Kindness" instead, and still make the day just as meaningful for herself ...and others? So Michelle and I cooked up a plan to kidnap Kristin for the afternoon, and scoured our brains and the internet to come up with 26 (.2!) random acts of kindness that we could complete in one afternoon. Michelle wrote an awesome poem to kick the day off, and we presented each act of kindness as a "clue" on separate piece of paper so it would be a sort of scavenger hunt for Kristin. We tried to confuse her as much as possible so she'd be completely baffled by the time we started. We succeeded, and what followed was a day that we'll never--ever--forget!

The Poem:

We know you’re upset because it’s marathon day

So we thought we could help in a small way

26.2 miles is what you thought you’d run

But 26 ACTS OF KINDESS is what you’ve begun

Showing kindness is what life’s all about

Considering so many have to live without

You trained so hard to reach your goal

Hopefully, in a differnet way, these deeds fill your soul

The 26 Acts of Kindness:* 

1. Beautify the block!  -  Rake leaves for someone 

2. Cheer on the underdog!  -  Cheer on a random kids' sports team 

3. Recycle some threads  -  Give a bag of clothes to a shelter 

4. Have a ball!   -  Give a ball to a kid 

5. It's been too long…  -  Send a text or message to a long-lost friend 

6. Boost their self-esteem  -  Pay someone a sincere compliment 

7. Stock the machine!  -  Put change in a vending machine 

8. With a cherry on top  -  Buy coffee or desert for the next person in line 

9. It may be slow but it sure brings a smile  -  Send a letter to a random person in Chicago phone book 

10. Gain some wisdom  -  Visit with someone at a nursing home 

11. Ding dong ditch!  -  Leave a gift at someone's door 

12. Cheap is good--free is better!  -  Give a free coupon 

13. A job well done!  -  Tip someone who deserves it! 

14. Water sucks, Gatorade is better!  -  Give a gatorade to a hard worker 

15. A little change goes a long way  -  Give a bag of quarters at a laundromat 

16. Here, Fido!  -  Give a dog some treats 

17. It can change the world  -  Spend five minutes looking others in the eye and smiling

18. Congrats on your little bundle!  -  Crash a registry 

19. Ask for the manager  -  Find an employee's boss to say they did a great job 

20. When cutting in line is a good thing  -  Let someone in front of you in line 

21. Fill an empty stomach  -  Give a bag of groceries to the homeless 

22. Lighten the load  -  Help someone unload groceries 

23. Clear the lot!  -  Return shopping carts 

24. Wipe away the blues  -  Put a kind note under someone's windshield wipers 

25. Can it!  -  Pick up trash 

26. Bad news doesn't get better with time, but good news does!  -  Leave good news stories in a waiting room 

.2 The last two tenths are usually the hardest…  -  Get through it (and get a coffee) with friends!

When we set out on this adventure, I hadn't planned on writing about it, and I didn't take any pictures out of respect for those around us. But it's not hard to paint a picture of how much meaning the day took on as it progressed. We started out by raking leaves for my neighbor, swung by the park to cheer on a Little League game, and then hit the store to get a bag of groceries for number 21 and also work on numbers 7 and 18-23. We were in high spirits, and the first few things were easy, since we weren't really interacting with anyone--we were just 'showing up.' When we got to the store, it was a little surprising to see how many shopping carts were abandoned at the back of the parking lot, and returning them got a little old by the third trip. But the real challenge began when we had to break out of our comfort zone and begin approaching strangers in a way that would make them realize we weren't crazy. Or criminals. Or both. We asking a very sweet-looking lady if we could help her with her groceries, and her immediate answer was "No, thank you. I've got it." So we went to return more shopping carts, and it wasn't until we passed her again on the way back that we made any headway. She looked over and thanked us again for the offer, so we quickly explained what we were doing. She conceded to letting us help this time after saying, "I figured you just offered because you saw my gray hair and my car parked in the handicapped spot!" Which made us realize a few things: our culture doesn't make it easy to accept help. We observed how sad it is that our standard answer to receiving help is a resounding, "no." Many times it might be because we feel that our dignity is somehow compromised  because we're supposed to be able to take care of ourselves and have it all together. I know that's something I can definitely work on! In the end, she thanked us for the help, we shared a few laughs, and went on our way to the highway exit where some local homeless people often stand.

And that, easily, was the  most humbling, rewarding, and life-changing part of the day. After arming ourselves with a bag of groceries stocked with a sub sandwich, fruit, chips, trail mix, a toiletry kit, and extra razors,** we scouted a stretch of highway exits looking for someone holding a sign. I can't tell you how often I've averted my eyes and locked the doors when stopped at the end of the very same exits where a homeless person stood. I felt pretty ashamed for all those times as we now looked eagerly for someone to be kind to on a whim. We struck out on the first try, but at the second exit pulled up to see a tall and sturdy-looking man with chestnut hair and a long but well-trimmed beard facing away from us, holding a sign toward the exiting cars. His tattered-looking rucksack leaned up against a sign post and I wondered with a sinking heart if he might be a veteran. We excitedly pulled over, and Kristin got out of the car holding the bag of groceries in front of her while calling, "Excuse me, Sir!" His look of surprise as he turned around transformed into a look of sheer wonder and joy as he saw the bag that Kristin was holding out to him. "Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!!!" we heard him exclaim, flashing the most brilliant smile I have ever seen. He looked down at the bag and back up at us several times as Kristin got back in the car and we drove away in tears, his brilliant smile never wavering. As Kristin said, "I will never forget the look on his face ever. It will be ingrained in my brain till I'm 100." I couldn't agree more.

We then drove to a coffee shop to spend time together and reflect a bit before continuing on with our mission. We gave a tip to the barista, and Kristin asked to buy coffee for a woman who came in after us. Again, the woman's first response was "oh, no, you don't have to do that!" so Kristin had to explain a bit. But by the end of the conversation, the woman had not only let her pay, but gave Kristin a big hug and left with a huge smile on her face. We then stopped by a nursing home where most of the residents were watching the Broncos game, and I had the pleasure of speaking with a wonderful woman named Helen, who reminded very much of my own grandmother, also name Helen, who passed away last year. It was one of the sweetest conversations I've had in a long time. Following our nursing home visit Kristin got in touch with an old friend and mailed a letter to someone with her same name in the Chicago area. We also left chocolate with a note at someone's door, gave a ball to a family with kids, passed out Gatorade, left kind notes under windshield wipers (even though Kristin worried they might think we'd booby-trapped their cars!), and gave a woman a bag of quarters at a laundromat before heading home.

By the end of the afternoon, we'd crossed off most of the stuff on our list our "Marathon of Kindness" had left us with some pretty full hearts. But it's not something I ever would have done myself--had it not been for Kristin, I would have sat at home that day just like every other. And I think we all learned that even though it took an afternoon to do the entire marathon, it takes but a moment to carry out just one of those acts of kindness. A ten minute conversation at the nursing home, a sincere compliment, a bag of groceries is not much to ask when it comes to those of us who have so much. Some of the tasks involved money, but many didn't cost a penny. And it didn't take long to realize how easy it would be to incorporate such simple little things like these into my daily routine. What we spent one trifling afternoon doing for fun could mean the difference between a man getting his meal or someone having enough clothes to stay warm. So instead conditioning myself to look the other way, this past week I put a few bags of non-perishable food and toiletries in the car. I've had a huge stash of quarters in the car for months (which we used to use on the East coast for tolls that don't exist here) which I've now put in a bag to carry around should an opportunity present itself. And I'm trying to remember take a little more time to reconnect with friends and write a few letters while I'm at it. Simple, easy things. But in one afternoon it became crystal clear how big of a difference they can make.

So with that, I encourage you to follow Kristin's example and and find a little way to pay it forward sometime this week.  Though Kristin didn't get to run 26.2 miles in Chicago, she did the next best thing with her day--willingly gave herself to others 26 times over, and inspired us to continue doing the same. So thanks, dear friends, for inspiring me, and Kristin: here's to Chicago, 2013!

*We also saw some great ideas here--this guy is doing a random act of kindness every day for a year. Talk about inspiration!
**A friend reminded me that clean, dry socks are also a much-needed item we can easily give to the homeless--another great thing to keep in the car.

Join the conversation!
Do you ever feel uncomfortable (like we did) when reaching out to others? What's the most fulfilling act of kindness you've ever experienced? Have any other good ones to add to the list?