Positively (Im)perfect

I used to have a good memory. Well, technically, I still do. But it seems reserved for only the long-term memories: all those things I could care less about remembering, or ancient memories like turning two (no kidding). I vividly remember my second birthday--I lived in Italy, wore a pale pink dress, and was smiling from ear to ear as my mother brought out the teal and peach teddy bear cake that she'd made for me. My husband jokes that I always remember the most obscure details of memories, like what someone else was wearing or what I was eating, and my brother jokes that I remember everything for him since he can't recall a thing from our childhood. Regardless, it seems like my good memory is stuck in the past, because in recent years my pregnancy-turned-mommy-brain has taken over life, and all the memories that seem to matter most--save those crystal clear childhood ones--are gone with the wind. This pains me, especially when it comes to memories of my kids. It&

Have you ever wondered what you can possibly say or do for a friend whose spouse has been injured or killed in combat? Or as a result of some other devastating tragedy? I know how often I have been at a loss for what to say or do, and how worried I've been that I might say the wrong thing. Two amazing women who have survived the worst were generous enough to contribute some valuable insights, weighing in on the dos and don'ts of helping someone whose world has been shattered. Read their tips in my final post of the "How to Help a Hurting Friend" series over at Ms.MommyHH6 , an incredible site for military moms. I learned a ton, and I hope the amazing things these brave women chose to share can help another survivor out there, too. You can also catch the first two installments: Part I - "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Child Loss" Part II -  "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Surviving Deployment"

I'm currently writing a three-part guest post series for Raven over at Ms.MommyHH6 --a great place for military moms (and any mom, really) to share about real life, get some awesome advice for running a home, and just support each other in our needs. This week's installment of "How to Help a Hurting Friend - Surviving a Deployment" features ways to help a military mom when her spouse is deployed, as well as tips to get through it yourself if you're the one left alone. So check it out, and don't forget to leave Raven some love while you're there!

I'm not a big-time runner, so I don't really know what it's like to train for a marathon. But I do know that it takes a lot of guts to even sign up. And after that it takes a ton of hard work, sweat, and sheer determination to make it through the countless hours and miles required to be race-day ready. So I was beyond impressed when my friend Kristin , who started running this past February, quickly set a goal of running the Chicago Marathon on October 7th, 2012--less than a year after becoming a "real" runner. Even though I don't know what it's like to pour my life into training for a marathon, I can imagine how absolutely devastating it is to have that dream abruptly yanked out from under your feet. Which is exactly what happened to Kristin. Precisely 453.5 miles into her training and two months out from race day, she learned that what she thought was a pulled muscle was really a stress fracture that would probably cause her hip to break if she kept

It doesn't often come up in conversation. It's not something we advertise. But there are lots of other women out there who--like me--have experienced some degree of child loss. In 2010 I lost one child to miscarriage and one to ectopic pregnancy. Since then, I've run in to more women than I can count who never met their child due to miscarriage. And far too many, like my amazing friend Caroline , know the unbelievable grief of saying goodbye to a son or daughter who they can see, touch, or hold. Caroline's son, Cale, died from an umbilical cord accident a few hours before he was born. Looking at the statistics, it's absolutely staggering to realize how very common child loss is, and to realize how many women we might walk by each day who are missing a part of themselves. Last year I learned through Caroline that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month . There are a lot of causes with louder voices out there calling for support, but this is one caus

Have you seen this yet? Three beautiful minutes of "Preach ON!"

I recently spoke with a friend who was struggling with her transition from the military into motherhood. At nine months pregnant, she'd just moved across the country, left the Army, lost her support system, started grad school, and set up a new household. In my eyes she was a superstar. "But," she told me,  "when my husband comes home and asks me what I did all day, all I can say is, 'Nothing, really. Well...I emptied the dishwasher.' Megan, I just feel so lazy and unproductive!" "Ohmigosh, me, too!" I gushed earnestly, "seriously, if only you knew!" We commiserated for almost an hour. I know her pain. And I know others do, too. As an "experienced" mom of three (stifling a laugh here) in a crowd of friends leaving jobs and venturing into motherhood, I get a lot of cries for help with the same theme. "I feel you!" I say.  "I've been there, too," I say. [More like I am there]. "It's nor

On the eve of September 11th, my husband asked if I had planned any activities with the kids. I hadn't thought of doing anything specific. But when I woke up the next morning to a bright sun and blue sky, similar to that morning 11 years ago, I decided to take my husband's suggestion and do something with the kids that would hopefully leave a little impression. That something was a visit to the Veteran's Memorial in our town. I had tried to prep the kids with a simple explanation of why September 11th was important to us in America. But my four-year-old is pretty inquisitive, and her questions are not of the simple variety, especially when it comes to things involving death or senseless evil. She knows that Mommy and Daddy used to be good soldiers in the Army, and that lots of our friends are good soldiers who are trying to put bad soldiers in jail right now. But we’d never really explained the connection to the events of 9/11. Her shock that that some “mean men” wou

...Positively (Im)Perfect! Glad you could stop by for the Grand Opening! Or premier, or launching, or whatever it is we're supposed to call these things. Point is, the fun has begun...officially! For those of you who are new around these parts, this is the new and improved professional counterpart to Home Sweet Hjelmstad! (you can mosey on over to Home Sweet Hjelmstad for the official announcement and reasoning behind this awesome new blog. And don't worry; Home Sweet Hjelmstad will still be in business, where pictures and videos and updates on everything Hjelmstad abound!).

Originally Published July 27th, 2012 ...My Investments Are Shot! Well, I learned pretty quickly in Part I of The Contentment Project that when it comes to superficial stuff, it's fairly easy for me to ditch some of the habits that suck the joy out of life. This week, though, I'm diving into something a little more challenging: devoting some real quality time each day to the people in my life. I know, tell me about it. In our society today, time is money, and spending it in ways we don't want can be torture. How we spend our time is vital simply because there's so little of it. Though I get the heebie-jeebies when I think back to any of my college courses that involved numbers, I did seem to internalize two important principles from my economics classes: the more rare something is, higher its value, and the more valuable something is, the smarter our investment is in that valuable item. (Oversimplified, yes...but it works for my analogy. Econ geniuses

Originally published July 20th, 2012 Let me start by saying that we live a very cushy life. It was already pretty cushy when we cut ties with the Army a few months ago. Since then we've embraced a lovely new life and the cush factor has reached an all-time high. We waved goodbye to our world of deployments and war and friends who've laid down their lives for us and stepped easily into the life we've been planning for years. I traded in my uniform for jeans and time at home with the kids; my husband traded in his for suits and ties and nine to five. We gained a house with nearly twice the square footage of our old one, and moved from an isolated community without a support network to a picture-perfect and kid-friendly suburb with grandparents right around the corner. It's priceless to know that we'll never again being separated due to Army missions; even on busy days we still get to see each other at the end of the day. We'd dreamed of this life for so

Originally published at Home Sweet Hjelmstad on June 16th, 2012  I know you've seen her too. Slender thighs, a painfully thin midsection, sculpted arms, and a gracefully arching back save for the ribs visibly poking through. The only variations are her face, her name, and possibly the addition of a six or eight pack that barely veils her ribs. But her name matters not, because these days she's simply known as Thinspiration. I, personally, call her a liar. She taunts women constantly, her form plastered everywhere, convincing them with ease that they can look better, no--they  must  look better, and that she exists to serve as their motivation. She is one of the many reasons I have long avoided buying a scale.

Originally published on February 14, 2012 They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well I submit that true love beholds true beauty. And I have never been more in love—nor have I beheld anything more beautiful—than the blessings in my life today. The concept really hit me the other day when I was hanging out and playing with the kids. I’m not sure what we were playing, or what Marie was chattering about incessantly at that moment; all I knew was that all of a sudden, just like in the movies, the background noises faded, time seemed to stand still, and all I could think while staring at my little girl’s moving lips and little face was, WOW. She is SO pretty. I swear she gets more beautiful every day! She quickly shook me from my reverie as she walked toward me, took my face in her hands and demanded, “Mommy! MOMMY! I’m talking to you! Did you hear me?” All I could say was “Umm…no, Sweetie. Sorry. But do you know that you’re beautiful?” And in that moment I had a

Written & Published January 7th, 2013. Archived to previous year.  Happy New Year, my friends! I know I took a rather unannounced break from Make It Count Monday for the past two weeks--my apologies to those of you who came looking for a link-up, although I know you're smart cookies and probably chalked it up to the holidays. Yes, last Monday was New Year's Eve..the Monday before was Christmas Eve, and life just kind of took over for me as I'm sure it did for you. But you know what? I kind of realized that that's okay. And since these Make It Count Mondays have been about real goal-setting and self-improvement, I'm taking a different approach today as we dive in to a new year. Let's see if I can explain: In a word, I've been weary. Lately, I feel like I keep trying to catch up on life as it keeps running away from me. Like the fact that I just finished clearing my camera of baby pictures only to remind myself that my beloved baby subject is now a