Make it Count...2013!

Written & Published January 7th, 2013. Archived to previous year. 

Happy New Year, my friends! I know I took a rather unannounced break from Make It Count Monday for the past two weeks--my apologies to those of you who came looking for a link-up, although I know you're smart cookies and probably chalked it up to the holidays. Yes, last Monday was New Year's Eve..the Monday before was Christmas Eve, and life just kind of took over for me as I'm sure it did for you. But you know what? I kind of realized that that's okay. And since these Make It Count Mondays have been about real goal-setting and self-improvement, I'm taking a different approach today as we dive in to a new year. Let's see if I can explain:

In a word, I've been weary. Lately, I feel like I keep trying to catch up on life as it keeps running away from me. Like the fact that I just finished clearing my camera of baby pictures only to remind myself that my beloved baby subject is now a toddler. Or the fact that I just got used to the idea that my little girl is a pre-schooler and tomorrow I have to register her for kindergarten. No doubt you know what I mean.

So what does all of that nostalgic mumbling mean?

It means I'm changing my goal-setting a little bit to fit my life better. I realized during my little blogging hiatus that a lot of my pressure has been unnecessary--most of the posting deadlines I'm trying to meet are self-imposed, and I don't always have to drop everything to express an opinion or address an idea simply because the rest of the world is doing so at the moment. I've been so distracted by my supposed importance in the writing world that I'm missing the moments that matter most--even as they happen right behind my back (usually when I'm tapping away at the computer). Blogging every week about my goals really was good for me for awhile. But in different seasons of my life, that won't always be the case.

So my long and drawn out point is this: I'm focusing more on quality than quantity--the inspirational stuff that I can hardly contain as it flows from my brain to my fingertips, as opposed to pressuring myself to blog on a schedule. I'll still be trying to Make it Count every Monday, but I may not write about it every Monday, because I'm working on some behind-the-scenes writing or making memories with my kids instead. I'm giving myself permission to take a blogging breather when I need to--when I should--so I can be invested most in the moments that count. I'm not going to stop posting, and I'll be keeping up with my personal blog updates, but the posts might be fewer and further between. So for those of you who have been loyal Make It Count Monday linkers, my many thanks, and I'm sure you understand! Check back for the occasional Monday inspiration, and I'm looking forward to seeing all the ways you continue to make it count when you feel so inspired!

Now, like I said, I will still be setting goals in a way that better suits this season of my life. So I've come up with areas I want to focus on this year. Not resolutions, mind you, because I don't really prescribe to that idea. I think the connotation of the word "resolution" too closely mirrors that of the word "diet," in which people understand that it's a temporary means to an end which will eventually be discarded, as opposed to a permanent and healthy lifestyle change. But I digress. I'm setting goals to help redistribute--and in some cases permanently alter--the time and energy I give to some areas of my life as opposed to others. Like the blogging that I just talked about. And I think accountability is still one of the most important pieces of goal-setting, so here's my specific list of the areas I'm focusing on for 2013:

Writing vs. Blogging: I mentioned it already, but I left out a few specifics. I know I'm a good writer when I give the right type of writing material the right attention. But that type of writing isn't always blogging. Sometimes it's a magazine article, short story, or academic essay. I need to invest more time in seeking out those opportunities and working on my writing instead of blog spew. I also get far too caught up in the blog stats--the page views and comments and things that don't make me a better writer...and I tend to spend far too much time on others' blogs flitting from post to post, commenting, and just trying to keep up. I always appreciate what others write, but frankly it's exhausting because there's so much great content out there, and it's literally impossible to get to it all. When I let go of most of my blog visits and obsession with stats during my little blogging break, and it was unbelievably freeing. I could write a book on how other social media has been the same for me. Being able to connect and share with others is good. But worrying about commenting or notifications numbers isn't. It doesn't make me a better person, a more attentive mother, or a more loyal friend. It just makes me a more distracted and less enjoyable person to be around (I'm sure you can relate). So I'm continuing to head in the direction of letting go and loving every second of it.

Relationships: I spend a lot of time and energy on relationships because I'm a 'helper' by nature. I like to do things for people, solve their problems, and if I can't solve them, at least listen. Part of that is ingrained in the feminine nature--the need to be needed, the love of being useful. But I tend to spend more time on relationships that are less important to me when I need to spend the most time on those closest to me. I'll go out of my way to do something nice for someone else, but my daughter has to beg me to read a book to her if I'm in the middle of a text 'helping' a friend. I know that's backwards. I feel the tug on my heart every time it happens. And I know it's time to change it. So I'm focusing on saying 'no' a little more to the outside world, and saying 'yes' a little more to the most important people in my life.

Timeliness: We are that family who is always late. Correction: I am the reason behind our family who is late. I come from a very long line of chronic tardiness. My husband does not have this problem. But I do. He is a planner, who will wake up early in order to have enough time to get three kids dressed and in the car. I am both an optimist and a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-er, who would rather sleep in an extra ten minutes than admit that I need that ten minutes to force my son to put his pants on. Or I think it will take me only three minutes to change my outfit (again) and do my makeup as opposed to fifteen. My husband affectionately refers to it as "Megan time," but it's yet another thing that causes me a fair amount of self-imposed unnecessary stress. Avoidable stress. Stress that does not have to run my life (sometimes multiple times a day). I still need to work on the specifics of how I'm going to change such an inherent trait (suggestions welcome!), but I know it will certainly help me spend more time on the important things, and I definitely don't need my children learning my habits.

Memory Organization: We have so many wonderful pictures, videos, and stories in countless files and folders--digital, hard copy, books, emails...it's impossible to keep track of it all. I love to share photos and videos with my kids when we're talking about when they were younger, but half the time I spend so much time looking for the folder with the right picture that it just takes away from the moment. But the other day my kids were looking through one of the few hard copy photo albums that we have (thanks to our amazing former nanny!) and they spent a good 15 minutes pouring over it, and talking about all the things they remembered from that age. They've also have mentioned the things they don't remember anymore a few times now. Our daughter told us the other day that she doesn't remember our old house or her old room...the one we left less than a year ago. My husband and I had to look at each other with sad panda faces, and it made me realize how important it is to organize our digital files and work on some memory books...not just for the sake of convenience, but because the memories they form now are the ones that will define this thing they call childhood. I'd like to help them remember it in the best ways possible!

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list and adjusting things as our needs and schedules and lives change from day to day. But they're the main themes that I'll be focusing on, and more importantly, acting on, in 2013. So for now lovely friends, Happy Make It Count Monday 2013, and I'll see you when I see you!