Three-Oh...My

I turned 30 last week.

I’m not sure what my “younger” self thought 30 would be like, but the whole 30 thing definitely happened a lot sooner, was a lot less foreboding, and was much less of a big deal than I think I imagined.

As far as “sooner,” I certainly feel a lot younger than I used to think 30 was (although my body's still acting way too old and frail internally for its external appearance). As far as “not foreboding,” I’m actually very happy to finally join the decade in which the rest of my sea of mom-friends exist (although I don’t love the gray hairs that come with the territory).

And as far as “not a big deal,” the day involved much less fanfare than it could have, and for that I’m very grateful. At least now. My loving husband asked me a few months ago what I wanted to do for the ‘big’ day, and I had something in mind that was nice, but a little more pricey than our current situation allows—and, after getting all pouty thinking about what I “couldn’t have,” I realized it was much more materialistic of a focus than I should have.

So in early September I decided that what I really wanted—and needed—in my life was the gift of contentment. In sorta-bucket-list style, I came up with a list of things to fit the following criteria: a) I couldn’t spend any money, b) it had to fit within my schedule of dropping off/picking the kids up from school, and c) each activity needed to help me appreciate my current situation or the people/things already in my life.

I solicited a few friends for input as well, and one of them suggested that I take pictures throughout the day of things I normally wouldn’t (like the kids loaded up in the car before school). I loved the idea. At the end of the day, not only had I done a number of things that actually did make me feel so very content, I also had a ton of photos to help me never forget those moments. (Which I quickly backed up to the cloud, of course!).

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the entire collection. But here’s the photo journal version of my wonderful day in—you guessed it—30 pictures!

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The night before, we had a little celebration with my in-laws, complete with dairy-free chocolate cupcakes and vanilla-hazelnut frosting that I invented/adapted from a dairy-free recipe. This alone was a big gift to myself, considering how much I've missed Nutella since having to cut out dairy. The hazelnut frosting was heavenly! And easy to make--definitely a keeper.

Around 5am on my birthday, I woke up bright and early to the sounds of my husband getting ready for...not work? I was confused by what sounded different from his regular morning routine, but I didn't feel like getting out of bed yet or opening my eyes for too long to figure it out [I am NOT a morning person, to put it lightly]. So I lazed around until he came back from his morning run and confirmed that he was surprising me by taking the day off--my present was him for the whole day! Yay!

A little while later, I was greeted by three very sleepy but happy kidlings. My 6-year-old gave me the gift of a self-portrait she'd drawn (typical), my 2-year-old shouted happily, "It's Mommy's birthday ...again!!!" (He was confused by the party the night before). And my 5-year-old showed up fully prepared, party hat and all. My husband helped get them ready for school, and asked our youngest how old he thought I was today. His response: "Um...three!" I'll take it, kid!

Meanwhile, I drug myself out of bed and took my first step toward contentment: dressing for the day I wanted to have. I put on the things that I wanted without worrying whether I was over or under dressed or concerning myself with what anyone else might think. 

While I was doing my makeup, my husband corralled the kids and had them ambush me with his family's age-old tradition of birthday spankings. I can't say I'm a huge fan, but you'd better believe they were...

The first "gift" I decided to give myself was that of a (mostly) clean house. I decided I wanted to fully appreciate the space we're blessed to have, and for once I cleaned it for myself and no one else. (When the hubs found out my plan, he also helped whip it into shape--good thing because I was starting to slack!)

DON'T BLINK, you guys.

All three kids have school on Tuesdays (even though the boys only go for a half day), so I had three full hours of free time--all to myself--on my birthday. I put in the most planning for this block of free time, thinking of contentment-generating activities I could do while not having to cart kids around (because every mother knows that the number of times you have to buckle and unbuckle your children throughout the day is inversely proportional to your level of contentment). 

I knew if I was too over-zealous with my plans and packed too much in, I would stress myself out. So I picked three simple goals that involved lots of happy solitude and relative silence during my few hours of freedom. Thankfully, my husband was happy to stick to my original plan and tag along. So we dropped the kids off...

FREEDOMMMMMM!!!!

And headed to our first stop--a picnic breakfast of Einstein bagels at the peaceful little Carmelite monastery in Littleton. I had wanted to make it to church, but all of the mass times were either before or during the school drop-off rodeo. So the monastery was my back-up, and it turned out to be perfect. The grounds are so quiet and simple but beautiful, and we lucked out with gorgeous weather, and it was so nice to just sit in the gardens for a little bit, eating and chatting and enjoying the morning.

Mama Mary photo bomb!

We went into the chapel for a short while where I spent a some time journaling and saying "thanks for another year!" to God instead of giving into the internal whining about getting older that I was more naturally inclined to indulge in. The nuns who live at the convent are cloistered, which means they give up all contact with the outside world when they entire the community, but they take constant prayer requests commit the rest of their lives to praying for the outside world, all day every day. This is part of the reason it's so quiet, but right before we left the chapel we heard some noises coming from behind the veil on the left side of the chapel where the sisters sit for church. Suddenly the chapel was filled with music--a nun practicing some songs on the organ--and I got to enjoy the most imperfectly beautiful rendition of Salve Regina before we left. I was tempted to break out my Sister Act skills, but I'm pretty sure she didn't know we were there, so I refrained. 

We then headed toward Hudson Gardens because a garden picnic was next on my list, but on the way we took a detour through downtown Littleton to see if we could grab some sandwiches. We got sidetracked by an antique store advertising a "Retirement Sale," and immediately ducked in. Now, I already knew that I was becoming more and more like my mother with each passing year (though I haven't quite reached the stage of both going antiquing AND refurbishing all the furniture). But I had no idea that antiquing with my husband could be so much fun. There were some highly entertaining moments!

We moved on for our final stop at Hudson Gardens before it was time for the school rodeo again.

I've mentioned Hudson Gardens in the past, but the short story is that it's a series of gorgeous gardens tucked away near Littleton, and one of my favorite places ever, with waterfalls and lily pad ponds and rose gardens and beehives and even a Thomas the Train Garden for the kids. 

I have a thing for lovely lampposts. Which probably makes me sound like
I belong on Anchorman. But someday, I will have a lovely lamppost...
(when I'm not in the throes of contentment boot camp).

The pumpkins were getting big, and the hay bale maze was already set up...if I had any previous reservations about the advent of fall, walking through the gardens definitely took care of them! 

Hudson Gardens is also an event center that does weddings and conferences and concerts--we decided that when we hit a big anniversary, we're going to do a vowel renewal and throw a big party here, just because we love it so! (Mark your calenders for...say...eighteen years from now?). 

Coyote photo bomb!

Back in the land of school and work and normal person schedules, we retrieved the boys, played outside for awhile, then walked to our daughter's school to pick her up. 

One of the sweetest moments of the day by far happened when my 5-year-old-son randomly ran halfway down the stairs when I was walking by, smiled at me, and said "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" This was kind of a big deal for lots of reasons--unprompted interactions like this are virtually unheard of for us--and I want to remember it always and forever. 

I love him so.

Another thing on my list was to take the dog for a walk. This happens far less often than it should (mostly because walking with both kids and a 6-foot beast who loves to chase bicycles is unwise and not logistically possible). So I wanted to take some time when I was alone to be a better mom to my furball son. No pictures of the actual walk because I was talking on the phone, but this is his face immediately following the question "do you want to go for a walk?!" and immediately prior to bolting for his leash. Happy pup, he was. 

Speaking of phone calls, this year more than any other I was so grateful for (and humbled by) all the calls and messages and wishes and little gifts from so many people--I often make excuses in my head about people doing such things out of obligation or just because Facebook reminded them, but this year I challenged myself just to be thankful for anything I received. It made a huge difference--simply allowing myself to feel loved without trying to qualify it was a very powerful thing.

We ate a scrumptious dinner of brisket, and as one of my last goals on the list, I tried to enjoy the homework and bedtime routines instead of rushing through them (having 'me' time earlier in the day certainly helped minimize the stress that usually accompanies that hour of the night!).

My favorite page in this book was the map she drew of  the US
with the explanation, "America is a solid."

I took my time putting each of the kids to bed and singing their songs (don't worry, I won't subject you to the audio version!) and didn't even cut off my daughter, who usually turns into a Chatty Cathy whenever it's time to say good night. We'd had a really nice conversation by the time I left her room, and I was still content. 

And I still caught this amazing birthday gift of the sun dipping behind our mountains--ya know, just in case I forgot how lucky we are to look out back and see this view every day. I then settled in for a cozy rest of the night, lighting almost every candle in the house with the plan of doing nothing but relaxing!

Overall, I took 364 pictures, and followed through with all 8 little goals on my list:

• -Getting up before the kids (well technically I wasn't up, but I was awake!)
• -Dressing for the day I want to have
• -Appreciating the gift of our (clean) home
• -Going to church or the monastery
• -A picnic lunch in the park or gardens
• -Walking the dog
• -Remaining engaged with my kids until they're in bed
• -Lighting candles and relaxing

...and then some!

It was honestly one of the best days I’ve had in forever. But in reality, that was mostly due to my shift in attitude. I approached the day determined to be happy and appreciative. I didn’t expect life to be handed to me and throw a tantrum when things didn’t go my way, or wish for material junk that would just give me a superiority complex and eventually leave me empty and looking for more (happens more often than I’d like to admit).

Instead I allowed myself to embrace the day without (too much) expectation or anticipation and focus on the real riches already in my life—the intangible ones. Being able to smile and feel genuine happiness, and to fully appreciate all the many real riches and relationships in my life was so special. I’m so glad life prevented me from getting what I thought I wanted so I could be truly content as I wanted on my 'big' day. It was the gift that I didn’t know I needed and the greatest gift I could have received. Hopefully, it’ll be a tradition of sorts as I make my way through this decade and the many more that will (God willing) follow!